It is that time of year again. Time for the literary beginnings of classical Victorian literature; time for Jane Eyre, Great Expectations, and Pride and Prejudice. It is also time for you to read these masterpieces if you have not already.
My personal favorite is Pride and Prejudice, though Miss Eyre remains a
close second. I never have liked romance novels, but the witty exchanges
between Elizabeth and Darcy, along with the ridiculous characters of Mrs.
Bennet, Mr. Collins, and Lady Catherine made me laugh, especially at the best
parts. My favorite part of the novel would either be Mr. Collins' proposal, or
Darcy's. Both of the rather proud men waltz in on Lizzy and blurt out a rather
pompous speech about how inferior Elizabeth is before proposing. Both men,
completely sure they cannot be anything but accepted, are at once refused, much
to their great consternation and bewilderment. I could just imagine the look of
shock written on their faces.
The best movie version of the book would be the three part BBC version. I
really cannot get over how greasy and utterly revolting Mr. Collins looks. Look
at that face. Would you want to marry that face? I’m surprised Elizabeth did
not become ill.
One thing in life that absolutely irritates me would be classic novel
monster mash-ups. Little Women and Werewolves was like Victorian Twilight
without the vampires. Speaking of vampyres, another book was Mr. Darcy Vampyre.
This story follows Elizabeth after marriage as she discovers she married a not-so-sparkly,
bloodsucking, French, gentlemanly, Dracula. Eliza’s character becomes greatly
warped, and I found I could not enjoy the book. The only one so far to agree
with myself was Pride Prejudice and Zombies. This is a gory blood-spattered
trilogy of a brave heroine who must overcome her personal issues while
defending England from hordes of flesh eating Unmentionables, or zombies. The
books made me laugh through the almost over dramatic actions of the still very
Austen characters. The central book still follows the original plot rather
closely, and the tale becomes almost unbearable to put down.
Any novel by Austen is full of witty characters. To leave you with a quote
to remember, “Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are
often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride
relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others
think of us.” Or so says the ever bookish Mary.
If you will now excuse me, I must wake my brother by poking him with a moose
leg. I rather enjoy waking him up when I get up before him. Yes, the leg is
disconnected from the rest of the body. I think it may be considered rather
odd, but I bring in the various organs for extra credit in science. I think the
moose head will be put outside with the goat heads.
-High Functioning Sociopath